Archives for posts with tag: Satire

Porcupine Farm's take on the Quake Outcast decision

I always forget to check regularly on what’s going on at Porcupine Farm, but when I do it’s amazing and I wish I did more often. Anyway, if you haven’t seen the site, go over and have a look. It’s fantastic.

We used to have a bar in Christchurch, called the Christchurch Temperance Society. It was the best bar. I left there about an hour before the September 4th quake, in which it was badly damaged. It has now been knocked down. It never re-opened. The Temp provided amazing service, great wine, but really specialised in cocktails. One of their signatures was the Barbara Lee (originally called the Lady Gaga), which was named after a woman of the same name who ran a clothing business next door. I had a quiet chuckle when Barbara Lee (the business woman, not the drink) was being interviewed on the news about something CBD related. Another was called Merivale Madness. One that was made from vodka and blue powerade, and topped with a gummy jetplane, was called “The Power of Christ Compels You”.

The Power of Christ Compels You

I was in the Civil Defence HQ at the Art Gallery this evening for a meeting. There were boxes and boxes of drink for the staff – bottled Kiwi Blue brand water, and blue powerade. Only the blue stuff. The only reasonable conclusion I can draw from this is that Gerry Brownlee will not start a meeting until he has had at least oneĀ “The Power of Christ Compels You”. When he gets to the bottom of the glass, he pulls out the purple jetplane (which is by this stage, soggy and very sticky) and flies it around the room whilst making machine gun noises and yelling “take that hippies!” As his day consists of meeting after meeting, he consumes a lot of cocktails. This would then explain a number of the things he is saying, and the decisions he is making.

Many citizens have criticised Gerry Brownlee’s stance on demolishing heritage buildings. This is unfair. Gerry knows about building construction – he was a high-school woodwork teacher before entering politics.

In these dark times we need decisive leaders that do not overthink the issues and waste time reading technical reports and listening to the advice of experts. In a hundred years, people will still be talking about Gerry.

Richard Stevens – Fendalton

This was the lead letter to the editor in the Press this morning. Gold.


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